From years of working with high achievers and business leaders, I have seen countless individuals who have succeeded on paper in multiple domains in life - career, finance, getting married, having kids, the house, car, assets etc.
However, as a clinician, I know they are coming to me not because "everything is sparkling". They're coming to me because they're struggling behind closed doors. Their marriage is breaking down and they don't know what to do. They attained all of this success in the hope that it would be "worth it for me, my partner and the kids" but it doesn't turn out that way. They feel alone and isolated, disconnected from their wife or husband, kids, family, or friends - the people who really matter.
Balancing a thriving career or business with a healthy marriage can feel like juggling two full-time jobs - especially if you have experienced trauma lurking in the past. The pressures of running a business and leadership often spill over into personal relationships, leading to misunderstandings, unresolved conflicts, emotional distance, frustrations, or anxiety. Even fears such as "am I good enough" or "do they still love and care about me" can come creeping in.
It can end up in a negative cycle that you're trapped in. You're working hard to be everything to everyone but you end up feeling not enough, disconnected, lonely, and unsure.
These are the types of issues that I support individuals and couples with through couples counselling in person or online, as well as in my luxury wellness retreats. Click here to schedule in a call to see if this would be helpful for you. Rebuilding Trust In Relationship.
And for now I'm going to give some common strategies used in couples counselling to help provide you with a solution, so you can have the tools to rebuild trust, and create a partnership that thrives alongside your professional success.
1. Rebuild Trust in High-Stress Environments
High-pressure careers come with intense demands that can erode trust in relationships. Late nights at the office, frequent travel, and financial concerns often leave partners feeling disconnected or neglected. Couples counseling provides strategies to:
Proactively schedule in time with your partner. If you schedule appointments in your career and you attend them, you have the capacity to schedule appointments with your partner and stick to these. Your partner is more important than any work you could possibly have booked in. Spending more time together will provide you with more opportunities to reconnect, while also helping your mind recalibrate to what really matters.
Recognise and address any trust issues proactively. If trust is broken, it takes a lot of time and effort to rebuild. Trust is foundational to any relationship but needs safety, consistency, reliability and transparency for it to be built. Taking a proactive approach before trust ruptures occur is necessary. This is not to say you give your phone to your partner every day to go through it and vice versa (if anything that may prevent trust from building). It's to say that you do and will always do what you say - there is no ambiguity, no guess work. I go into a lot of detail around building trust on my podcast Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab, available on Spotify and iTunes. You can also find my specially tailored Rebuild Trust self-paced workshop. along with tools and strategies to practice, to support your growth and building of trust together.
2. Improve Communication Amid Busy Schedules
Use communication techniques to rebuild confidence in each other. Communication is the pursuit of understanding, and when communication goes well, understanding one another is effortless. You stop getting into arguments and you can disagree without getting into conflict. However, if you are struggling with communication strategies, it may be work checking out my Empowered Communication workshop that is self-paced, giving you tools and workbooks to support you improving your communication.
Check in routine. Create a ritual where you are both checking in with each other - and I'm not talking about a general "you alright?" with a grunt in response. I'm saying you are asking "how are you, really?". Sit in the space with your partner, promote a meaningful conversation with them, learn about what inspires them and how they have grown.
Get good at arguing in a healthy way. The worst possible time to learn how to argue is when you are in the middle of an argument. Learn about how you both would like disagreements to play out, outside of an argument. Plan this and make some ground rules to follow for when you are in a disagreement. Be sure that you are both kept accountable and maintain responsibility. Again, more strategies are in my Empowered Communication workshop. Alternatively, there is a lot of valuable information helping you improve communication in your relationship on my podcast Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab, available on Spotify and iTunes.
3. Strengthen Emotional Intimacy While Balancing Demands
Recognise your personal triggers and work on these. If you are noticing yourself feeling overly sensitive or vulnerable in a particular situation, whether it be thoughts of self-doubt or self-criticism, it's time to change. Work on strengthening your emotional resilience and becoming mentally fit, improving your mindset and growing your internal resourcefulness is key. In my clinic, there has been a 91% success rate for clients and this work has been transformational (NHS industry standard is a shocking 50%). If you're wanting to know more, see if we are a good fit. FYI - you need to be emotionally resilient and stable to have a platform of creating emotional intimacy with your partner. If you do not have this, you are simply risking co-dependency (which is incredibly unhealthy).
Rediscover shared values and experiences that deepen intimacy. This is where you may benefit from emotional intimacy coaching and renewing your relationship so you are geared for a successful and joyful relationship. Recognise that you would have changed and grown over the years, and so would your partner. You're designed to grow together as opposed to 'going back to how things were'.
4. Prevent Burnout in Your Personal and Professional Life
Maintenance work is mandatory. You brush your teeth every day so you don't have poor hygiene and risk your teeth falling out. You can't just "not brush" for weeks hoping that things will be ok, and then rigorously brush when you've got a toothache. It's the same with your wellbeing and relationship. You HAVE to maintain your wellbeing and relationship every single day. Without fail.
Build emotional resilience. This is also encapsulated with developing mental fitness, changing your mindset for success, and overall optimising all parts of your being. This will support your growth in all directions while really being able to integrate your life in the most whole and fulfilling way it can be.
Are you ready to strengthen your relationship while building your legacy? Book your private couples counseling session today.
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